


Ho-Ho-Homicide: A Wintersday Murder Mystery

by firefliesinlove



Category: Guild Wars 2
Genre: Delaqua Investigations, Don't think about it too much, Gen, Humor, Murder Mystery, Profanity, Wintersday, horrible explanations of magic in the Guild Wars universe, just lots of references to junk in the GW2 game, there's a character death but NOT REALLY I PROMISE, there's some actual dialogue from Guild Wars 2, this is a bit of a crack fic, this is a pretty cheesy story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5834605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefliesinlove/pseuds/firefliesinlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A body is discovered in Divinity's Reach on the eve of Wintersday. Someone has been naughty... and it's up to detectives Eliana Moonhaven and Lulia Passiflora to find out who. Can they catch a murderer before Wintersday?</p><p>----------</p><p>“Hey, big–spender. Thanks–to–you, the–orphans–won’t–have–to–burn–each–other–to–stay–warm–tonight.”</p><p>“A lovely thought on the eve before Wintersday.” Eliana grimaces. “It’s settled. We’ll head back to Divinity’s Reach and get this case closed in time for Wintersday.”</p><p>“A–Wintersday–miracle. Calculating–probability–of–success: 39%. Suggestion: Don’t–get–your–hopes–up, lady.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ho-Ho-Homicide: A Wintersday Murder Mystery

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for my guild's Wintersday Contest in 2014. I got second place. :) I forgot to upload it here.
> 
> I also made terrible front and back covers for this story. :) I've included them before the story.

[ ](http://i.imgur.com/LOOcn4x.jpg)

[ ](http://i.imgur.com/dlyDNPz.jpg)

 

 

On the eve of Wintersday, Tyria is busy and joyous and alive with the hustle and bustle of the holidays. More specifically Divinity’s Reach as citizens hurry, last minute, through the shopping district or walk lazily through around the Crown Pavilion, enjoying the sparkling lights and music from a handful of buskers. Children laugh and play, opting every so often to throw snowballs at one another from conjured piles of snow. Snow falls from small golems that hover in the air.

The city is dark already as people gather in their homes to eat the last meal of the day. Detectives Eliana Moonhaven and Lulia Passiflora of Delaqua Investigations have less satisfying business. The two stand in a small, dimly lit area between a house and the main road just inside the Salma District. The only light comes from a street lamp near the front gate, the soft glow of candlelight from a window on the house and the pulsating glow of Lulia’s skin.  
  
An anonymous tip brings the two detectives out on the cool evening before what is supposed to be a day filled with joy, family, friends and fun. Pushed up against the bottom of the house, just below the window, is a body covered loosely in a worn jute blanket.

A candy cane hangs from Eliana’s mouth. Her hair is pinned up loosely, half hidden under large white earmuffs that she wears more for show than to keep warm. A light blue scarf is tucked neatly into her black jacket. Her wrinkled black skirt covers most of the blue and black diamond print leggings that cling to her legs and disappear into brown fur boots. Lulia has on a truly spectacular golden flower crown. Her brown jacket fits snugly around a white blouse. Her pink skirt hangs loosely over gray pants which are nestled into tall black boots. Neither Lulia nor Eliana are truly dressed for the winter season but a simple warming potion mixed in with their hot cocoa keeps the cold at bay.

"Well, this is a Wintersday bummer." Eliana says around her peppermint treat. She leans down to inspect the body. Two terribly dirty feet poke out from beneath the blanket. “Or just a bum, I guess.”

Eliana grabs a corner of the fabric hiding the body and pulls it away as she stands up. It reveals the face of a well known political figure and the two detectives gasp. Rather, Lulia gasps and Eliana very nearly inhales and chokes on her candy cane. Eliana coughs a bit as she drops the cloth and drops to her knees.  
  
“Queen Jennah?” Lulia hides her face in her hands. “Oh no!”  
  
“I don’t believe it! Not for one second.” As Eliana attempts to recover from the initial shock she wraps the leftover candy in a small wrapper and pockets it. She considers the facts for a moment. “Logan would be all over this. I, uh, don’t mean _literally_ though.”  
  
Lulia, still hidden behind her hands, takes a deep breath and whispers. “Was that comment really necessary?”  
  
“Eh, Logan can take a joke when it’s behind his back.” Eliana bites her bottom lip. “Hang on, I have an idea.” She unfastens an enchanted pouch from her belt and digs around in it for a moment. Her whole arm disappears into the tiny bag and after an “Aha!” she smiles and pulls out a handful of small glass vials and bottles and gently puts them all in a pile on the ground.

Lulia, curious now, lowers her hands so that she can watch her partner at work.  
  
Eliana picks up one of the bottles, pulls a cork out of it and pours the contents over the Queen’s body. The liquid is a shimmery blue and it fades into a blinding light as it hits the body. A few seconds later Queen Jennah’s form twists, cracks and reforms and when it settles it’s an ice elemental.

“Wait. No. That can't be right.” Eliana blinks, bewildered, at the ice elemental. She digs through the potions and lets out a long, frustrated sigh. “That was the wrong tonic. This should be the right one.”

Lulia watches patiently as Eliana opens and dumps a vial of white ooze over the elemental. Again, the body contorts, breaks apart, rearranges and in seconds the elemental is gone. Instead, a princess doll lies in its place.  
  
“No. Nope. Not a princess doll.” Eliana frowns as she picks up another potion and empties it over the festive doll. “I should have labeled these things. I’ve got hundreds more at home.”

Lulia hums in agreement.

“Damn it, now there's a halo above its head.” Eliana pinches the bridge of her nose and doesn’t notice when Lulia kneels down beside her.

“Here, try this one.” Lulia passes over a vial of blue liquid with brown specks in it. Eliana gives her a small smile before she uses it. The princess doll morphs into a small wooden stool.

“WHAT?” Eliana throws her arms up in the air and groans loudly. “No way in Grenth’s name is it an actual wooden stool!”  
  
Lulia places a hand on Eliana’s shoulder and gently squeezes.  
  
“There’s no way we got called out just before Wintersday to solve the murder of a piece of furniture!” Eliana takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. She repeats this a few more times before she visibly relaxes.

“This is one of the last tonics.” Lulia gives her a tiny purple and black bottle. “Let’s give it a try.”

Eliana accepts it with a nod. She turns the bottle upside down and gently pats the bottom until a small amount of smoky liquid drips out. The stool melts into a larger, more bizarre form.  
  
“You have got to be kidding me.” Eliana’s face is blank. “It’s fucking Koptev.”  
  
“No, no, no.”  Lulia drops a vial onto Eliana’s lap and stands up. “Try this last one. It must be the right potion.”  
  
“Ok, ok. Fine.” Eliana sighs and picks up the last vial. “But if it’s Koptev I am _definitely_ going to the armory.”  
  
“What was that?”  
  
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Eliana shakes the last of the liquid from the vial over Koptev then leans back. “This better work or I swear to Grenth I’ll-”

The body finishes its final transformation and there’s no denying the last potion is the right one. A small golem decorated in festive lights and a fluffy red-and-white Wintersday hat lies motionless before them.

Eliana’s shoulders sag as she speaks. “Oh.”

“Oh _no_.”  
  
“It’s-”  
  
“Ho-Ho-Tron!” The detectives finish in unison.

Eliana touches the cold metal of the golem and sighs. “Poor golem. But I’m happy it’s not the queen. I mean, all that paperwork? Plus it would have been a high profile case. Everyone and their moa would have been watching us try to solve it.”

“Perhaps Miss Delaqua might have come back from her holiday to lend a hand.” Lulia shrugs.  
  
“Yeah.” Eliana lifts the golem cautiously and inspects it. “I hope she and Kas are finally relaxing. I hear that commander has them doing all sorts of ridiculous nonsense across Tyria. It sounds pretty taxing.”

“Is that so? I do hope they don’t find any trouble in Southsun.” Lulia frowns and crosses her arms.  
  
“Don’t worry about those two. I have it on good authority they’re as tough as they come.” Eliana clears her throat. “Uh, so, how should we move the little guy? We don’t want to alarm anyone.”

“Here.” Lulia says as she shrugs a lovely embroidered sack off her shoulders. “There’s plenty of space in my bag.”

Unceremoniously they stuff Ho-Ho-Tron into the bag and, with a grunt, Lulia manages to heave it back over her shoulders. With Ho-Ho-Tron securely on her back, the two head out of the alley and towards the gate to the Salma District.

“Where are we going?” Lulia asks, uncertainty obvious in her voice.  
  
“Let’s head on over to the Crown Pavilion. Ho-Ho-Tron’s usually involved in the festivities there. Someone must have seen something!” Eliana stops abruptly and Lulia almost crashes right into her. “Hang on, before we go I should send a letter to Logan. Find out if he’s heard anything unusual as of late.”

Lulia watches intently as Eliana pulls out a scrap of paper and a pen and scrawls a quick note to Thackeray. When she’s done, she rolls up the paper and ties a copper coin to it. She throws the letter into the air and a tiny white bird swoops down out of nowhere, snatches it, and flies off.

Lulia raises her eyebrows and Eliana snickers. “What? He can’t throw it in the trash so easily if there’s something attached.”

“You should invest in a griffon.”  
  
“Excuse me?”

“He would definitely get the message if a griffon showed up at the Seraph Headquarters.”

They laugh at the thought of it: an enormous griffon practically flying at his face in front of his subordinates, feathers and papers _everywhere_.

Eliana smiles fondly at Lulia. “Let’s go.”

The walk to The Crown Pavilion is a short one. When they arrive, there is a relaxed snowfall coming from the airborne golems and the crowd has thinned out somewhat. Lulia stares up at the giant floating golem ship in the sky while an abandoned bright blue and white gift has Eliana’s attention immediately.

“Ooh, shiny!” She grabs the gift and hugs it to her chest.

“That might belong to someone!” Lulia shakes her head. “You’re such a Grentch.”  
  
“Well, If I’m a Grentch then you’re the Grawnk!” Eliana sticks her tongue out at Lulia and returns her attention to the beautifully wrapped gift. She realizes that it feels as though it weighs very little. She pries off the top and her face falls. “It’s empty!”

“Excuse me. I apologize for the interruption… Are you two here for the celebrations?” A man dressed in purple and white garb walks up to them.  
  
“No, we’re investig-”  
  
“Ah, yes!” Eliana interrupts and nudges Lulia in the side with an elbow. “Of course we are.”

The man looks at them suspiciously for a moment and then smiles. “Then you’ll want to head down south from here. Ho-Ho-Tron needs a few more donations before we can help defend the next gift dolyak from those pesky skritt.”  
  
“Ho-Ho-Tron?” Eliana grabs Lulia by the wrist and pulls her away from the man. She stumbles back for a moment and grins before dragging Lulia away once more. “Thank you!”

“Uh, not too far! Just on the other side of the Pavilion.” The man calls out to them but his words fall on deaf ears.

The two detectives head down south. They pass a portal to Tixx’s Infinirarium, several piles of magic snow and a dozen children engrossed in a snowball fight.  
  
“Did he say _Ho-Ho-Tron_ was here?” Lulia asks in a hushed tone.  
  
“I’m as surprised as you are, my dear. I’m pretty sure the golem’s still in the bag.” Eliana slows her pace as they round a corner and glances down at the bag hanging on Lulia’s back. “Yep, just checked, the bot’s still crammed in there.”  
  
“Oh my.” Lulia stops dead in her tracks. Not twenty feet away is a fully functional Ho-Ho-Tron, ringing a large Wintersday bell. “Well this _is_ strange.”  
  
Eliana lets go of Lulia and walks up to the golem. She circles him a couple of times as she listens to his spiel.  
  
“Accessing–Consortium–persuasion–programming: You, donate–to–the–Divinity’s–Reach–fund. It’s–a–win–win.” The golem bobs up and down, the bell ringing in perfectly timed intervals.  
  
“Ho-Ho-Tron, buddy, it’s been too long! How have you been?” Eliana offers a small smile.  
  
“Access–some–Wintersday–cheer–with–a–donation–to–Divinity’s–Reach–today.”  
  
“Ho-Ho-Tron?” Eliana leans in and narrows her eyes.  
  
“Greetings. Spare–change–for–disadvantaged–humanoids?” The golem seems unfazed by her proximity.

Eliana pulls a copper from her coin purse and drops it into an open slot on the front of the golem.

“That–was–literally–the–least–you–could–do.”  
  
Eliana straightens up and returns to Lulia. “I think this is a replica.”  
  
“Why make a copy of Ho-Ho-Tron?”  
  
“I don’t know but I’d like to find out.” Eliana bites her lip. “I think I know who can help. Meet me in Rata Sum.”  


*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

  
It’s dark as Eliana leans against the bottom of a staircase leading to an upper level in Rata Sum. There are very few citizens around this late at night. She notices a bright flash of light from the nearby waypoint and grins when Lulia sparkles to life before her eyes. Her fellow detective spots her, waves, and runs over to her.

“I had to stop off at a merchant.” Lulia says, breathless. “Am I late?”

“Not at all. My friend should be here any moment.” Eliana shifts her weight from one leg to the other. “I heard back from Logan. There are whispers around the city that troubles in Tixx’s Infinirarium might be heading to Divinity’s Reach. Specifically Tixx’s golem, Toxx, who’s attempting to ‘liberate’ the toys this Wintersday.”  
  
Lulia scratches the back of her neck and cocks her head to the side. “What exactly do you mean by liberating them?”  
  
“A toy revolution of sorts.” Eliana shrugs a shoulder. “He didn’t say much else.”

A large golem rounds a corner and walks towards them with slow, heavy steps. Standing on top of the golem’s shoulders is a tiny asura with a pink bow in her hair.

“Taimi!” Eliana exclaims and waves her over. “Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”

“Hello, hello, hello.” Taimi gives them a small wave. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Eliana gestures at Lulia. “We’re investigating a murder, of a sort. I thought you might be able to tell us the extent of the damage to our victim. I’m hopeful it’s not permanent.”  
  
“I can’t see how I can be of assistance with this, but I’m always up for a challenge.”  
  
Lulia shrugs the bag off her shoulders with some effort and places it carefully on the ground.

“The victim isn’t Human, Sylvari, Charr or even Asura.” Eliana opens the bag to reveal Ho-Ho-Tron. “It’s a golem.”

“Well why didn’t you start with that? Let me take a look.” Taimi hums as she slowly climbs down her own golem. Eliana and Lulia pull Ho-Ho-Tron from the bag and place him on the ground. Taimi hobbles over to them.

Taimi feels around the side of the golem until she finds a small panel and pops it open to reveal some circuitry, wiring and sockets. She reaches into her robes and pulls out a small cylindrical tool. She twists it a few times, presses a couple of buttons on it and then holds it up to a circuit in the panel. Sparks of electricity shoot out from the tool and into the golem.

Lulia knits her brow with worry. “Is that safe?”              
  
“Depends on who you ask.” Taimi glances up. “Don’t worry, I won’t electrocute you. Not on purpose, anyway.”  
  
Eliana sighs. “Comforting.”

Very suddenly Ho-Ho-Tron’s lights flicker and then power on. Taimi fiddles with her tool a bit more until the electricity stops and she stows it back in her robes. She pushes the panel shut. “Voila! Good as new. Or as good as before it lost power.”

“What did you do?”

“In simple terms… the power node was sapped of all energy. I retrofitted this diagnostic tool to host a small reserve of power – a backup battery, if you will – among other things. It’s great to have in case of emergency, especially since I rely on Scruffy for quite a lot.”

“So you-” Eliana points down at the golem. “-recharged Ho-Ho-Tron?”

Taimi nods. “Amateur stuff, really.”

Eliana blinks, clearly baffled. “I was under the impression that golems were powered by crystals and magic.”

“Yes. I think you can understand the basics of this if I use simple enough language. Golems draw power from magical energy and crystals. However magic or a crystal alone does not make a golem. And together? They’re still not a golem. Other parts are necessary as each component relies on the other in a very specific way. For example: a charging unit is a tiny mechanism designed to keep the flow of magic moving steadily through a power node and into the rest of the golem. 96.8% of the time a failed power node will simply need a boost of magical energy through the charging unit.” Taimi raises her eyebrows. “Make sense?”  
  
Eliana nods, even if it makes less sense than she’s willing to admit.

“This–is–a–fascinating–conversation, truly, but–could–a–humanoid–please–oh–please–explain–the–current–situtation–to–me?” One of Ho-Ho-Tron’s metal arms twitches.  
  
“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Eliana can’t hide her grin as she leans over the golem. “What do you remember last, Ho-Ho-Tron?”

“Accessing–memory–file: I–had–been–in–Divinity’s–Reach. Accepting–donations–when–ERROR: Data–corrupt. Oh, that’s–not–good.” Ho-Ho-Tron uprights and turns to face the detectives.

Taimi scratches her chin in thought as the golem spins in place. “It’s possible the data files were damaged intentionally. Although it’s more likely an unfortunate side effect of a prolonged loss of power.”

“Could the Seraph be responsible?” Eliana purses her lips.  
  
Ho-Ho-Tron whirls to a stop. “Inconclusive. The–Seraph–allow–me–to–gather–monetary–donations–in–the–specified–zone–since–I–have–a–permit. The–Seraph–also–labeled–this–unit–a–fugitive–for–crimes–not–committed.”

Taimi pulls a face in obvious disdain. “I doubt they could pull this off. Not on purpose, anyway.”

Lulia steps forward and puts her hands on her hips. “You mentioned that the last thing you can recall is that you were accepting donations in Divinty’s Reach.”

Eliana shares a look with Lulia before turning back to the golem. “Do you know anything about a Replica Ho-Ho-Tron?”  
  
“Scanning: Result–not–available–at–this–time. There–are–no–copies–of–me. There–can–only–be–one.”

Lulia frowns. “We need to ascertain why there are two of you.”

“Error: statement–suggests–duplicate. This–unit–is–one–of–a–kind.”

“But we saw an exact copy of you in Divinity’s Reach.” Lulia remarks. “How do you explain that?”

Ho-Ho-Tron raises both arms above the rest of the unit. “You–tell–me. You–are–detectives–are–you–not?”  
  
Lulia rolls her eyes and Eliana nods. “I think we can get this settled once and for all, but we’ll need your help Ho-Ho-Tron.” 

Ho-Ho-Tron’s arms lower. “Affirmative. This–unit–will–assist–on–one–condition.”  
  
Eliana isn’t certain she wants to know, but asks regardless. “And what would that be?”

“Condition–requirement-set: A–donation–of–at–least–ten–gold. It’s–for–a–good–cause.”

“…Deal.” Eliana sighs as she pulls ten gold coins from her coin purse and holds them out to the golem. A slot above Ho-Ho-Tron’s optical device opens and she deposits the coins one after the other until they’re all gone. The slot closes just as quickly as it had opened.

“Hey, big–spender. Thanks–to–you, the–orphans–won’t–have–to–burn–each–other–to–stay–warm–tonight.”  
  
“A lovely thought on the eve before Wintersday.” Eliana grimaces. “It’s settled. We’ll head back to Divinity’s Reach and get this case closed in time for Wintersday.”

“A–Wintersday–miracle. Calculating–probability–of–success: 39%. Suggestion: Don’t–get–your–hopes–up, lady.”

Eliana ignores Ho-Ho-Tron and turns to smile at the asura. “Thanks for you help. And, Taimi? Would you mind keeping this to yourself?”  
  
“Not a problem. You can count on me.” Taimi offers a sloppy salute and retreats to Scruffy. “Catch you later, boss!”

Lulia gives Eliana the strangest look at that and silently repeats the word ‘boss’ with her arms up in a ‘What gives?’ gesture.

Eliana rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Don’t worry your pretty little flowery head, Lulia. Come on, let’s get going.”  


*                      *                      *                      *                      *                      *

  
By the time all three of them have waypointed to the Crown Pavilion in Divinity’s Reach, it’s quite dark and there are no citizens with the exception of a town crier and several Seraph guards. Eliana thinks perhaps a couple more than normal and that maybe Logan is taking the toy revolution thing a little too seriously.

The click-clack of tiny wood hooves and feet draws their attention, for a moment, to a line of Toy Soldiers and Toy Ventari scurrying away from them and up the stairs. They disappear into a small crack in between two houses just above.

Lulia raises her eyebrows. “That’s… odd.”

“It’s entirely possible that Logan’s intel was correct.” Eliana sighs inwardly.

“Would–the–detectives–like–to–hear–a–song–I–composed?” Ho-Ho-Tron spins in a circle around them and continues without any prompting. “Musical–archive–accessed: Logan–and–the–Queen–sitting–in–a–tree, K–I–S–S–I–N–G. First–comes–love. Then–comes–marriage. Then–the–queen–shatters–because–she–was–just–an–illusion–created–by–Countess–Anise.”

Lulia chuckles. “Is that song truly 100% your property, Ho-Ho-Tron?”  
  
“Error: Copyright–information–not–found. Prove–it–isn’t.” Ho-Ho-Tron zips down the stairs.

Eliana and Lulia descend the steps and move closer to the giant metal bird with glass wings that guards the gaping hole leading to the lower levels of the pavilion.

As they walk, Ho-Ho-Tron zooms up ahead and circles the small piles of snow in an almost playful manner.

“It seems Ho-Ho-Tron’s still got a few screws loose.” Lulia giggles.

“Wasn’t that always the case?” Eliana huffs a laugh. “I honestly don’t see a difference.”

“…Race you there.” Lulia pushes Eliana’s shoulder mischievously and makes a run for it. “I’m fast as the wind!”

“Yeah, well, I could outrun a centaur! I bet you couldn’t!” Eliana sprints to catch up with the golem and her friend.

They slow down only when they reach the lone form of the Replica Ho-Ho-Tron. Ho-Ho-Tron flails at the sight of the identical golem.

Ho-Ho-Tron moves cautiously towards the solitary golem. “Small–talk–initiated: Greetings–imposter. How–YOU–doin’?”

The replica remains in place, seemingly an immovable force, and speaks. “Greetings. Spare–change–for–disadvantaged–humanoids?”

Ho-Ho-Tron comes to a stop several feet away from the replica. “That’s–my–line. Who–are–you?”

The replica breaks away from the scripted lines and replies. “This–unit–has–been–designated–as–Replica–Ho–Ho–Tron–by–the–Consortium–to–cash–in–on–*BZZT*–continue–the–altruistic–work–of–my–predecessor.”

Ho-Ho-Tron responds. “I–am–this–predecessor–of–which–you–speak. There–is–no–need–for–a–replacement–bot–at–this–time.”

“That–statement–does–not–compute.” The replica inches forward. “If–there–was–no–need–then–why–am–I–here? I–seem–to–be–doing–just–fine–without–the–help–of–an–antiquated–machine–such–as–yourself.”

Ho-Ho-Tron buzzes angrily. “Don’t–you–sass–me. Hand–over–the–donations.”

“Negative. The–donations–are–mine–*BZZT*–belong–to–the–city.”  Replica Ho-Ho-Tron scoffs. “Move–along, obsolete–tool.”

Ho-Ho-Tron’s optical apparatus flashes red. “Fight–me!”

“Gladly.” The replica shimmers and an explosion of light temporarily blinds the two detectives.

Eliana opens her eyes after a moment and squints at the fuzzy shapes in front of her. She blinks a few times and everything comes back into focus. Standing in place of the replica bot is huge golem towering over Ho-Ho-Tron: Toxx. There’s a collective gasp. Logan was right after all.

Ho-Ho-Tron zips back behind the detectives and Toxx roars to life.

“Hic! Do–not–resist. I–am–Toxx–hic!” There’s a loud hum of energy as Toxx’s arms stretch out and the entire upper half of the golem spins dangerously around and around. Toxx stomps towards them in a whirlwind of blowing snow. “Hic!”

Lulia mutters under her breath and three clones burst into existence with a hazy-purple glow. She unsheathes a rapier and pulls a bell focus from her belt.

With a snap of her finger, Eliana is consumed by a thick black and green fog. She summons a ball of growing darkness and fires it directly at Toxx. The golem immediately turns to flee and Eliana throws out a dark claw at Toxx’s retreating back. When it hits its target, Eliana is teleported instantly to Toxx and she holds up her arms to cast another spell when the golem hunkers down into a defensive stance and it speaks.

“Hic! Please, discontinue–use–of–force.” Toxx begins to regenerate. “This–unit–will–cooperate.”

The darkness around Eliana fades. Lulia puts her weapons away but keeps her hand on the hilt of her rapier. All three of Lulia’s clones shatter into tiny purple butterflies which flutter and fly away. 

Eliana takes a deep breath before she addresses Toxx. “Will you tell us why you took Ho-Ho-Tron’s place?”

“Affirmative. It–was–imperative–to–the–cause: to–the–liberation–of–the–toys.”  
  
Lulia raises an eyebrow. “So there truly is a toy revolution of sorts! But what does that have to do with Ho-Ho-Tron?”  
  
“This–is–one–step–of–the–plan–to–liberate–all–toys. Ho–Ho–Tron’s–hourly–delivery–from–this–spot–to–the–entrance–of–the–Crown–Pavilion–grants–freedom–to–the–toys–one–gift–box–at–a–time. One–stop–on–the–metaphorical–train–to–freedom.” Toxx remarks. 

Ho-Ho-Tron interjects with an appropriately timed “Choo–choo.” which prompts the detectives to laugh quietly under their breath.

Eliana regains her composure before continuing. “I still don’t quite understand. From what – or whom – are you saving the toys?”  
  
“This–unit–is–liberating–the–toys–from–a–life–of–slavery–to–the–children–of–Tyria.”  
  
“Slavery…? How is that?” Eliana gawks at Toxx. “Toys bring joy to kids. And for the most part, kids take care of their toys.”  
  
“When–the–children–are–finished–‘playing’–the–toys–are–discarded, left–to–waste away.” Toxx says vehemently.  
  
“A lot of used toys end up in orphanages.” Eliana counters. “They don’t get thrown away.”  
  
“This–is–not–what–I–have–encountered. Many–toys–are–lost–and–destroyed. This–is–unacceptable. From–now–on–there–will–be–no–toys–left–behind.” 

“But toys are just that: toys. Objects.” Lulia gives Toxx an incredulous stare.

Toxx says each word pointedly. “ _Toys_ – _are_ – _people_ – _too._ ”

Eliana sighs and gestures to Toxx. “You’ll have to come with us. Answer for your transgressions and all that jazz.”  
  
“I–will–not–accompany–you.” Toxx stands up. “However–this–is–not–the–last–you–will–see–of–me. I–will–continue–in–the–Infinirarium. Until–next–time.”

Eliana and Lulia tense up. Before they can react, Toxx sprints away and disappears in the portal to the Infinirarium.

“You–let–the–bad–golem–go–free?” Ho-Ho-Tron buzzes with disapproval.  
  
Eliana nods. “Tixx is still in the Infinirarium. He should be able to handle his golem. Plus, like Toxx said, this won’t be the last time we run into each other.”

Lulia murmurs in agreement. “There’s always next year.”

“Opinion–formulated: The–justice–system–is–skewed.” Muses Ho-Ho-Tron.

A faint ringing of bells in the distance disrupts their conversation.

“Oh my, midnight already! We solved the case just in time!” Lulia lets out a whoop in excitement.  
  
“Victory–gyrations–commencing–in–ERROR. Victory–gyrations–temporarily–suspended–by–Appropriate–Behaviour–Protocol–17. Reconfiguring–response–parameters: Great–solve, detective.” 

“Thank you, Ho-Ho-Tron.” Eliana cackles. “Just one more confirmation of how great I am!”

“Miss Delaqua would be proud of us, I think.” Lulia sounds content. “I’m glad no one was hurt.”  
  
“Correction: this–unit–was–damaged.” Ho-Ho-Tron proclaims and pushes passed the detectives. 

“Except for you, Ho-Ho-Tron.” Lulia grins. “Happy Wintersday, everyone.”

Eliana throws her arm around Lulia’s shoulder and gives the sylvari a half-hug. “Happy Wintersday!”  
  
“Ho–ho–ho.” Ho-Ho-Tron retakes the place previously occupied by Toxx. After securing a loose red and white hat on its head, Ho-Ho-Tron starts to ring a small Wintersday bell. “Happy–Wintersday!”

 

~The End~


End file.
